... give me reason, but don't give me choice, 'cause I'll just make the same mistake again...

So where do I begin? I have neglected my weblog after I came back from the International Film Festival.

Many things have happened and I won't write about everything (even if they are important for me) because they are private as well. Besides if you are in closer touch with me, you know everything already anyway.

In a nutshell:

1. I visited my friend Pino twice in Amsterdam and he spoiled me with a birthday present (I use it every day, to remind me not to keep off the emotional roller coaster) and Pan di Stelle (the best Italian cookies). Finally i managed to get him the chocolates that I had bought for him when I was in Paris.
2. My FlickR-friend Guido made an effort and visited me here in Zwolle. We had dinner with some interesting talks about friendship, love and partnership. It seems to be my favorite subject lately, how is it possible? I must say all those talks with friends make a lot of things transparent for me.
3. We had our New Years Reception with the neighbors and founded a book club. We all have to read Moby Dick by Herman Melville now, so we can discuss the book in April.
4. I had a kind of a job interview at work for my own job. It went well. I can remain team manager. Further more it seems to rain complaints at the moment from clients. (They can't appreciate the report of our concerns to the child protection service.) Apart from the complains it's very busy at work and usually I'm happy when I am home ant there's not so much to do any more.
5. As I wrote before I started dating again with some men, but I'm very cautious and so far nothing irreversible has happened. (In other words: I'm not pregnant yet, LOL.) I just enjoy my dates and take it slowly.
6. Last Sunday I visited a gathering of the Netherbears for the first time. My friends Roland and Arjan had invited Leo and me to spend the afternoon with them in their house in Weesp (what a beautiful house!) and after dinner we all went to the Barderij in Amsterdam, where the happening took place. I'm sure I will go again an other time.
7. Aldo was in Zwolle two weeks ago. I finally had a chance to show him my town, though it is no comparison with Paris in any way. Aldo brought a very nice shirt, that Père Noël had delivered for me in Paris.
   
8. I got and still get a lot of support from all my friends: thanks a lot Elly, Jaap, Ton, Willy, Hensen, Arjen, Jos, Yaser, Peter, Harry, Gea, Ria, John, Paul, Natasja, Craig and all the others who stood open for my misery after the break up! And despite what everyone says I'm not sure that given a choice I wouldn't make the same "mistake" again (see title of this blog).
9. I realize that I split up my friends in two groups and though I do not want to do so, I see that I am cautious about the things I tell people that are still in contact with Erik. Not that I think that those people will talk about me with Erik or are not trustworthy any more, but I don't want to bring them in any tricky situation because Erik and I are not longer together any more. I realize that an attitude like that causes a distance between me and some of my former friends, but I'm not sure how to handle it in an other way these days. Hopefully things will change when my feelings for Erik have died (that's not the case right now) . I guess it's the same safety mechanism that I use to protect myself against too much pain, by keeping my distance to Erik as long as I can.
   
10. Apparently I'm not capable to by a ticket to the US (fortunately the exchange rate keeps being good for me), Sitges (thanks for the invitation Joop), Istanbul (sorry Harry, it'll take a little longer) or Rome (very sweet of Robert and Tony to ask me to come over and stay with them). I postpone my travel plans at the moment form day to day.
    

So far for now. No reason to bore you any longer with my little inconveniences.