Where to begin?

That's not only the question I have to ask myself while writing this post, it's also a question of practical nature, that I ask myself more often in the last in the last weeks and that will pop up even more often as the date of James' arrival comes nearer. It's not that I didn't do anything in the last few weeks or that nothing has happened. In contrary, but all the things were not that big that they need an own entry here. But anyway let me try to get some logical order in everything.

1. Simone my boss announced, just before everybody went on vacation, that she had a new job (SHIT!). Of course I am happy for here, but the whole management team is not amused at all (to say use an understatement). Of course that only proofs that she did an tremendous job in the last two years.
   
2. I got a visitor for nearly three weeks an though Fran is a nice guy, I must say that 3 weeks is most definitely too long when I have to go to work and my guest is not able to leave the house on his own. If someone would come to visit me for such a long time he/she should be able to find his/her own way and get around. If someone on the other hand would visit me that would be dependent on me (for ideas, information, language, transport, ...) it should only be for a just a few days. A following time when someone comes to visit me (visitors are always welcome) I will be a bit more specific about this subject.
3. During Fran's visit we made it to CSD Cologne. It was nice see people there, that I hadn't seen for quite a while. One special friend I hadn't seen in quite a while and who was there was Aldo (looking hot as ever, LOL). Fran and I stayed on a campground in Cologne and I enjoyed it a lot. Well, .... except for the last night. That was a night from hell, since our air bed had a leak and we couldn't find it. Fran eventually found it when we were home again. I repaired it already. While we were in Cologne, Fran and I traveled to Bonn and Bad Godesberg. I had never been there and I liked the places a lot. They were further away from Cologne then I would have thought.
   
4. On the last weekend of Fran's visit I had an appointment with Erik in Amsterdam. Erik suggested it and I agreed because I thought it would help me to get over him and the break up. I hoped that I wouldn't be as scared as I was the last time when I saw Erik in Amsterdam, when I would run into him a following time. The meeting went well. Erik was quite nice to me, but I found out that I am still very angry at him. Talking about my anger didn't help at all. I only found out that we can not reach out to each other at his point anymore. So I guess Erik still thinks that he made the right choice based on the right argument and I slowly think that I can live with his choice, but I cannot agree with the arguments he uses. (And again, those reasons are real for him, I understand that, but since they concern me and my supposed intentions, I can only tell that they are wrong.) I guess that's a typical example of a black box: with the things he fills in for me I can understand the outcome, but the intentions he thinks I had were never in the box. So what will the future bring? In any case no more "love". "Friendship" will be only possible if I can master my anger. So I don't know the answer yet.
5. The breakup was at least good for one thing: it cleared the path that lead to James. I wouldn't have been in Phoenix in the first place if Erik hadn't dumped me and I wouldn't have been open for learning to know James if I still had had some hope that Erik and I could have come together again. I guess James and I can only that Erik that he made clear to me what he wanted just before I went on vacation in April. And maybe that is the hopeful thing about the whole story, now that I am so completely in love with James I might grow over my anger. We will see....
6. Since I have the house for myself again I start my preparations for James arrival. In only four weeks, he will be here. I cannot express my happiness, that all the waiting will finally be rewarded. I can't wait to start my life together with James. We both think that we will have a wonderful future together. James is very supportive, I found out especially in the last three weeks. I am very happy with his advise and moral support. James is very stabile, no mood swings, no unexpected moves, but unconditionally there for me. He is my man and I am very happy for that. I found my soul mate!

So far for now. I'm very tired. My eyes are closing automatically all the time and I can not concentrate on my thoughts at all any more. Time to go to bed. Maybe I will tell the stuff that I forget now, some other time....