... give me reason, but don't give me choice, 'cause I'll just make the same mistake again...

So where do I begin? I have neglected my weblog after I came back from the International Film Festival.

Many things have happened and I won't write about everything (even if they are important for me) because they are private as well. Besides if you are in closer touch with me, you know everything already anyway.

In a nutshell:

1. I visited my friend Pino twice in Amsterdam and he spoiled me with a birthday present (I use it every day, to remind me not to keep off the emotional roller coaster) and Pan di Stelle (the best Italian cookies). Finally i managed to get him the chocolates that I had bought for him when I was in Paris.
2. My FlickR-friend Guido made an effort and visited me here in Zwolle. We had dinner with some interesting talks about friendship, love and partnership. It seems to be my favorite subject lately, how is it possible? I must say all those talks with friends make a lot of things transparent for me.
3. We had our New Years Reception with the neighbors and founded a book club. We all have to read Moby Dick by Herman Melville now, so we can discuss the book in April.
4. I had a kind of a job interview at work for my own job. It went well. I can remain team manager. Further more it seems to rain complaints at the moment from clients. (They can't appreciate the report of our concerns to the child protection service.) Apart from the complains it's very busy at work and usually I'm happy when I am home ant there's not so much to do any more.
5. As I wrote before I started dating again with some men, but I'm very cautious and so far nothing irreversible has happened. (In other words: I'm not pregnant yet, LOL.) I just enjoy my dates and take it slowly.
6. Last Sunday I visited a gathering of the Netherbears for the first time. My friends Roland and Arjan had invited Leo and me to spend the afternoon with them in their house in Weesp (what a beautiful house!) and after dinner we all went to the Barderij in Amsterdam, where the happening took place. I'm sure I will go again an other time.
7. Aldo was in Zwolle two weeks ago. I finally had a chance to show him my town, though it is no comparison with Paris in any way. Aldo brought a very nice shirt, that Père Noël had delivered for me in Paris.
   
8. I got and still get a lot of support from all my friends: thanks a lot Elly, Jaap, Ton, Willy, Hensen, Arjen, Jos, Yaser, Peter, Harry, Gea, Ria, John, Paul, Natasja, Craig and all the others who stood open for my misery after the break up! And despite what everyone says I'm not sure that given a choice I wouldn't make the same "mistake" again (see title of this blog).
9. I realize that I split up my friends in two groups and though I do not want to do so, I see that I am cautious about the things I tell people that are still in contact with Erik. Not that I think that those people will talk about me with Erik or are not trustworthy any more, but I don't want to bring them in any tricky situation because Erik and I are not longer together any more. I realize that an attitude like that causes a distance between me and some of my former friends, but I'm not sure how to handle it in an other way these days. Hopefully things will change when my feelings for Erik have died (that's not the case right now) . I guess it's the same safety mechanism that I use to protect myself against too much pain, by keeping my distance to Erik as long as I can.
   
10. Apparently I'm not capable to by a ticket to the US (fortunately the exchange rate keeps being good for me), Sitges (thanks for the invitation Joop), Istanbul (sorry Harry, it'll take a little longer) or Rome (very sweet of Robert and Tony to ask me to come over and stay with them). I postpone my travel plans at the moment form day to day.
    

So far for now. No reason to bore you any longer with my little inconveniences.

To Blog or Not to Blog!!

For my friend Pino:



...because it is funny to see him wrestle with this question on a regular basis.

Sakli Yüzler / Hidden Faces

A Turkish movie about so called "Honor Killings", crimes committed to safeguard the family honor. The film starts out with a film in the film. A documentary about honor killings gives all the background information and tells a horrible example of these killing. Through the movie the family of a Zuhre, a girl who should have been killed by a honor killing, finds out that she is still alive. Her uncle wants to fulfill his task and find and kill Zuhre. A race against the clock starts with the maker of the documentary who wants to safe Zuhre's life.
A thrilling movie that addresses a problem that still exists in modern Turkey and in the countries where Turks live. Though the movies is shocking, I try to have no moral judgment on the subject. Something that is nearly impossible for me as "family honor" doesn't exist in my vocabulary.
Rating 10 out of 10

Margot at the Wedding

When I met Ben from the Fraterhuis in Rotterdam he said, "oh you're going to see that women's movie..."
Margo goes together with her son to a place somewhere in New England to attend the weeding of her sister. She doesn't agree with with the choice of her sister regarding her future husband and as the film continues she doesn't agree with a lot of things her sister does. She interferes strongly with the live of her sister and later on in the movie with everybody around her. The whole time we see that her own live's a mess as well.
If you want to see unhealthy relationships between people and dramatic twists in the plot this is the movie to watch.
Rating: 8

Import Export

The latest movie of Ulrich Seidl seems to be as strange as Hundstage a film I saw in 2002 on the IFFR. Seidl makes controversial films in which he gives his vision of Austria and Europe.
In this movie we see Olga who moves from a depressing place in Ukraine to Vienna in the hope to find a better future. She works in a depressing nursing home.
On the other hand we see looser Paul who does some strange business together with his stepfather in Ukraine.
The film is about humanity, dignity and moral values. But the style of the movie might not be very appealing to all viewers.
Rating: 7 out of 10

Ping Pong-Kingen / The King of Ping Pong

Rille is a large, fat adolescent (16), who lives with his divorced mother and his younger brother in a small town in the North of Sweden. The only thing he feels good about is the ping pong club at his school, where he is kind of in charge.
Both boys adore their father, who works in the off shore industry and sees the boys once in a while. Then he's doing fun stuff with them like ice fishing or learning them how to drive a car. But the father has an other (irresponsible) side as well when he drinks a lot, introduces them to his ever changing future wives or when he makes up stories to impress his sons. The youngest boy is very impressed by that kind of stories, he hates his mother and her new lover. Rille is less outspoken and he wishes he could choose as unconditional as his brother. Competition and jealousy between the brothers lead to a bitter sweet end.
Rating: 8

Railroad Crossing

One of those movies that better couldn't have been made because it is
extremely boring. This Spanish coming of age film is not only slow, I
couldn't discover any significant plot either. If I want to see shots
I'm a row, I prefer watching at pictures in stead of this movie.
Rating: 2

No Country for Old Men

The newst film of the Coen brothers. An innocent man happens to
discover a drugsdeal that went wrong (all men involved and even the
dogs got killed). The guy finds himself to end up with a bag of $
2.000.000. Of course there is someone who's looking for the money: a
most violent killer. I really lost count of all the dead bodies in the
movie. My rough guess would be 50. Unless all the killings, the movie
has humor as well. My rating is 8.

Let the Right One In

Swedish vampire movie with a lot of snow in a suburb of Stokholm. A light and funny movie, but nothing more.
Rating: 7

Trapped in a snowstorm

Yesterday night after the last movie I found myself in bad weather, so
I thought I try to meet my friends at the Doelen, a bar during the
festival. I was lucky nearly all of them were there. While we were
sitting there (10 or 12 people) the weather got worse and worse.
Strong winds and heavy snowfall mixed with rain, made it impossible to
bike home. So we all stayed until 2.30 AM when they were closing the
bar. We had to take a taxi since the weather was still too bad.

Redacted

Shocking reconstruction of the rape of a 15 year old Iraqi girl and
the murder of the whole family by a few American soldiers in Samara in
2006. The event really took place. Brian de Palma choose for a fake
documentary style for this movie. Real pictures of innocent Iraqi
victims are shown at the end of the movie.
Though it's a really "feel bad" movie my rating is 7.

L'ora di punta

Italian movie about an ambitious business man, who seems to do
anything for his career: corruption, giving up love and even killing.
The movie gives a bad image of Italy as a corrupt country up to the
highest levels of society. Actually it is the second movie I saw with
this theme.
My rating is 7 but just because I still love Fanny Ardant.

Le Tueur

Film with lots of surprises. A professional killer comes to Paris with
an asignment. The victim seems to know that someone wants him dead and
he finds out who his murderer will be. He even gets to talk to him.
Without giving away the surprising twists of the story I can't go any
further.
I like the film and my rating is 8.

Stellet Licht

Mexicaanse film about a Dutch/German religious minority in northern Mexico. The community consists mainly of farmers.
The plot of the film is very simple: a farmer with wife and a bunch of kids falls in love with an other woman. The story unfolds very slowly with beautiful shots.
I can imagine that some people say that the story could be told in half of the time (that's true) and that they will not like this movie.
I like it anyway and therefor my personal rating is 9.